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    What I /hope/ to do for a living.

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    What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:35 am

    So I know I've told you all that I'm an author, well I figured I'd post some of my best work. Right now I'm kinda stuck in a rut, just writing fanfics, but it has managed to produce some of my best work.

    This is a fanfic I was working on for awhile and just finished recently, this is the first part of it, and my strength is... well, you'll see. Anyways, the universe it's based on is kind of lawl but provides a lot of interesting settings. I'm sure you can figure out what universe that is after a bit into it.

    tl;dr One of my best torture scenes is below, enjoy.

    -----

    Why did it have to happen?

    Drip… Drip… Drip…

    Why was I forsaken, to this Hell?

    Bam… Crack… Bam…

    I can’t… feel my body anymore. Is this death?

    Drip… Drop… Drip…

    Kuishen hung, seemingly lifeless, from the chains that bound him to the ceiling that had been wrapped around his wrists and then welded. The burn from the blowtorch had only been the first of many pains, and it had long since been forgotten and replaced with new ones, horrible ones. The dripping sounds filling the room in the brief moments of silence in between the blows upon his body were partially from the blood flowing out of his mouth and nose, falling to the floor. The other dripping noises were from a small crack in the ceiling where there was a leak and also from the IV bag that was hanging on a stand next to him, feeding him some type of serum. Those dripping noises were the one constant in his life at the moment aside from the imminent punches and hits landing on various parts of his body. His pain sensors underneath his skin had long-since given up on feeding his brain the necessary information for him to actually feel it. Now the blows only felt like far away repercussions of bombs exploding.

    The Kaguya had lost track of time after the first week. He had tried to stay on top of how long he’d been there, but it soon became impossible if he wished to keep his sanity. The only way he measured time now was the silence in between the dripping noises. At first he had tried counting them, but realized he couldn’t as the punches to his face made him lose concentration. When he had first been dragged here he had been able to tell if it was day or night because there was a window in the room, but that was impossible due to the swelling around his eyes and forehead which made it impossible to see at all. Kuishen didn’t even remember what the room looked like anymore; the information had been beaten out of him. There was only the constant dripping. That was all he knew. It was the last thread of life he clung to now.

    What he could only imagine was every few days; somebody would come and replace the two IV bags. One of them was that damnable serum, the other he guessed was vital nutrients and water. They hadn’t fed him anything, nor given him anything to drink, so they were keeping him alive somehow. What he did know was that the serum they were feeding into his bloodstream slowed down the ebb and flow of his chakra to almost nothing. Being an ANBU he knew what was going on within his own body and he was sure they had figured out a way to eradicate the flow of chakra enough to disallow the use of any jutsu, yet still keep him alive. Things that had come naturally to him, such as fixing broken bones through use of his bloodline, were ripped from his repertoire and denied to him.

    Having had such a reliance on his chakra throughout his life, having it taken away from him merely served to make him utterly weak and crippled but it demoralized him far beyond that which any other interrogation technique could. The odd thing about this was, it didn’t stop the creation of chakra nor did the serum reduce his overall amount of it. All it did was slow the movement of his chakra throughout his body, the horrifying truth was every once in a while his body would have to expel chakra because he couldn’t use any of it and it built up within his body. The symptoms of this were a high fever and severe sweating, coupled with horrifying nightmares. The reason for the expulsion was simple. Through day-to-day life his body would use chakra, just doing simple things like walking, picking up stuff, talking even. All of those actions used a minute amount of chakra and in the end, prevented the body from ‘overloading’ as his was doing now. It was almost as if his body was one of his torturers as well.

    Beyond those few things he only knew some of the damage his body had sustained. Several of his ribs had been completely obliterated and various other bones were broken throughout his body. He had one collapsed lung, which made breathing harder than normal. Abrasions covered his body and were never allowed to heal completely, because as soon as they would scab over they were opened again. It was enough to keep him bleeding but not enough to make him bleed out. He was pretty sure that his liver was deteriorating quickly because the serum was doing a number on his entire system. His facial hair was starting to grow into the cuts on his face which was causing an immense amount of irritation and probably infection. Because he was almost completely suspended by the chains that bound his wrists, he was sure that his hands had been starved of blood and oxygen completely and were now decaying. On top of all of this he was continually damp which had a high risk of him catching pneumonia due to the leak in the ceiling dripping on to him partially. All of this and he was being forced to live in a pool of his own waste.

    All of this… and yet no reason had been given. No interrogation had taken place. Nobody had said so much as a word to him this entire time. At first he had assumed that it had been somebody trying to learn the secrets of either his clan or Konoha, which he had been completely adamant in not handing over had that been the case. However the length of this Hell with not so much as a word or question led him to believe otherwise. The person or people that were doing this to him had no reason. They didn’t want anything, other than to watch Kuishen perish little by little. At first he had thought that he would be able to at least momentarily regain some chakra control when they switched out the IV bag for a new one, but it wasn’t any good. After so long of not having it, when he got it and tried to manipulate his chakra he couldn’t manage it and became so exhausted in that few seconds of trying that he blacked out.

    Thinking back, he beat himself up because he could’ve avoided all of this. They, whoever that was, came shortly after that disturbing night with Nazomi. It was a full moon that night, which made him question how they had gotten him out of the city, but they had come during the night and literally in three seconds had broken into his house and stuck a large needle into his neck, containing this serum, a large enough dose that it had sent him into seizures. He knew this because he had been conscious for the entire thing. Once they had him subdued and calmed, he was bound, blindfolded and they placed an exploding note over his mouth, stating that if he were to so much as whimper they would blow him to hell. If only he could’ve reacted quicker and put up some defenses he wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. He was certain that this was all part of their plan to screw with his head. It was obvious from what he had seen that these guys were somebody you didn’t want to screw with. They had him out of the city in minutes and were travelling at high speeds, which he could tell because of the wind and leaves whipping his face as they travelled through the forest. Kuishen knew that there was more than one of them, because he had watched them bind him. Obviously their faces were covered, and when it was explained to him that he was not to speak it had been a male voice.

    Because he couldn’t tell the exact speed at which they had moved away from the city, he didn’t even know how far away he was from Konoha. Without taking into account that they may have tried to fool his sense of distance by doubling back, he estimated that he was over one hundred fifty miles from Konoha. There was extremely little chance of him making it to any type of civilization alive if he managed to get out of here and kill or shake off any pursuers in his current state. Just the thought of being able to kill a person right now was laughable and he almost did laugh before he remembered that his jaw was broken and his windpipe was so swollen that he could scarcely whisper. That was his life right now, the dripping noises, the beatings and mentally torturing himself over what could have been done to avoid this. He was able to keep his sanity because of the constants.

    Then a variable was added.

    “Kuishen…”

    It was a woman’s voice. All she did was utter one word, and it made his sanity snap like a frail twig. Without even realizing it, Kuishen was uttering moans and murmuring obscenities to himself. Watching this from an inward view, he couldn’t stop it. After what seemed like a few hours he regained control of himself, but as soon as he got a grip on his sanity, she did it again. The result was a breakdown even bigger than before. He started struggling in his chains, causing himself immense pain. What he felt to be violent shaking of the chains that bound him, he knew in reality was little more than his arms twitching, unable to actually move after the damage they had sustained. Yet still he did it, because just another voice aside from his own inner consciousness was enough to push him over the deep end. Yet again, after what must’ve been a long while, he got it together. Then she spoke again and it ripped him from his pseudo-peace. The dripping, the beatings, everything continued on as normal, but now another constant was added and it was causing him more emotional distress than ever before. This continued for what must have been days until finally he had gotten used to her voice. It became another measure of time for him, another constant, and another safety. It was at this point he was sure there was some sort of Genjutsu involved, because what she said next made him crumble completely.

    “Kuishen… it’s me… Kohana.”

    The process continued, each time Kuishen sunk to an entirely new low. Then when he would finally get a hold of himself and figure out that it was trickery she would utter something to the effect of ‘It’s your fault we’re in this situation.’ Weeks went by and he found himself screaming at the top of his lungs, which was little more than a hoarse whisper, at this person, begging, pleading for her to be quiet. It got to the point that he was trying to will himself to die, trying to force his heart to stop beating, but it wasn’t any use, he was too weak to even do that. Over and over he would wish for somebody to stab him in his heart and end this misery. This was far worse than anything he had been taught to handle in the ANBU training school and far more than any human being could take. He slowly began to lose his thinking ability, it was replaced with fear of that woman. The last reasoning thought he managed to carve into the stone of his brain was simple.

    Why take this much time to break me?

    -------

    Thoughts and comments would be appreciated. Somewhat emo, meh, still some of my best work. I'll post the rest of it depending on what the reactions are.

    Guest
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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Mon Feb 22, 2010 4:40 pm

    yeah, I am not going to read any of this......
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    Klonen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Klonen on Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:19 pm

    Riveting tale ol' chap.

    (I didn't read it either)

    harvvu

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  harvvu on Mon Feb 22, 2010 7:45 pm

    /cry

    wall of text

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:30 pm

    You. Effing. Fail.

    Begeta

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Begeta on Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:34 pm

    Klonen wrote:Riveting tale ol' chap.

    (I didn't read it either)

    lol I first read this and /nod and laughed cause I thought is said Riveting tale of crap >.>

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:58 am

    I should've known that anything literature related was going to be wasted on you idiots.

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:11 am

    I like to read stuff that doesn't suck.

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:24 am

    Seeing as how you didn't actually read it, you can't possibly know it sucks. So, go DIAF.

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:06 am

    I am the great I am. Don't question your Lord and Savior. I know it sucks before I read it. Therefore I don't have to read it to know that it sucks. king

    Begeta

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Begeta on Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:32 am

    I read quite a bit, and I read urs.. it is a festering pile of crap. That's 4min of my life that I'll never get back.
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    Hexxen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Hexxen on Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:04 am

    i read the like first paragraph and immediately thought u had written some fan boy yaoi lol

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:52 am

    Only you could get 'gay' from that Hex. Only you. -.-

    No comment to the rest of you, I grow tired of feeding the trolls.
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    Daleven
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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Daleven on Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:00 am



    Example: Instead of all that crap, you could have told us, "I write shit," and the responses would have been, "That's cool, man."

    I check forums while I'm at school, or doing something that only half-entertains me. I usually have a book on me and if I want to read a book, I'll pull it out and read it!

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:07 am

    The point of the post was to give an example of /what/ I write though, so I fail to see your logic. If I had, in passing, said that I wrote and then posted all of that, then I could see your point, but no I made a topic specifically to give an example. That's like 1/6th of the entire thing too, I could've posted it all.

    I also, sincerely wanted critique, but I should've known I was going to receive nothing more than troll attempts, so that was my bad.
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    Daleven
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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Daleven on Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:10 am

    My rebutal: Sleep
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    Klonen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Klonen on Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:24 am

    COOL STORY BRO

    u c wat i did thar?
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    Klonen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Klonen on Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:22 pm

    Hex plz write a yaoi fanfic of Kuishen's fanfic. I'll read that. xD
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    Hexxen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Hexxen on Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:44 pm

    lol

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:52 am

    The moral of this story is that you write stuff and we don't care. Brutally murder your mother and father so you can stop being emo. Otherwise quit taking up space on the forums with your "here's what I'm doing while I hate my parents" poo poo. I know, I'm an asshole. study

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Guest on Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:35 pm

    IF it related to FFXI I would actually read it..

    for example, learning the ways of the blue mages.. story of blue mages is somewhat a military training, but every blue mages learns the forbidden art.. (drinking monster's blood)

    for now lets call it "Berserk mode"

    I gotta go, class time lol
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    Daleven
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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Daleven on Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:07 pm

    what are you talking about? 90% of ppl in ffxi don't even read mission story-line CS dialogue. Like they're gonna read extra storyline - unofficial at that!

    Knocturnal

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Knocturnal on Wed Feb 24, 2010 5:46 pm

    I found it interesting...

































































    NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

    Hai guyz!
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    Klonen

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  Klonen on Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:59 pm

    lol!

    harvvu

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    Re: What I /hope/ to do for a living.

    Post  harvvu on Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:35 pm

    i see what u did thar

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